Frozen?  You’re doing it all wrong.

Lean?  You’re doing it all wrong.

Pushing it down on the grill?  You’re doing it all wrong.

Do it right.

Yes, I’ve been doing it all wrong.  I make burgers with 96/4 beef, I buy whole wheat buns that are on sale, and I come in last place in my age group in my 4th 5K this summer.  High time to heed Hubert.  Screw lean meats and female runners in Northwest Ohio ages 30-34 on June 20.

Top Chef Masters: Episode 1

Top Chef Masters: Episode 1

  1. Everyone uses a shower to cool pasta in college.  It’s not that unusual.
  2. If I wasn’t a chef, I’d certainly be a…DJ…because they’re so similar.  Of course, Hubert.
  3. The toughest girl scout?  The redhead.
  4. The difference between a refrigerator and a freezer is apparently negligible.
  5. Star system.
  6. Win girls’ hearts easily by incorporating delicate chocolate mousse mice into their desserts.
  7. Differences between Masters and others include detailed responses to questions, innovative ingredients, words I’ve never heard of, tequila, jovial relationships, and sweat.
  8. I wanna wear glamorous hats, pins, rings, and shoulder-padded jackets and be a food critic.
  9. “Aggressive.”  “Dorm room.”  “Technique.”  “Execution.”  “Bathroom.”  And this is a show about cooking.
  10. I don’t have to hear about how hot Padma is.